A compassionate, genuine, romantic lover who shares your values and goals.
I might as well have written “a diamond in a coalmine” because that’s what the dating world sometimes feels like. Dating can seem daunting, unpredictable, and unsatisfying. And that can lead to many of us feeling like we might be destined to be forever alone.
But the simple truth is that you are not destined to be forever alone. But the hard truth is that finding “the one” may involve more than relying on a meet-cute at a coffee shop.
In this post, we will discuss what a relationship counselor is trained to do and whether you would benefit from a session with an expert in relationship therapy. Even if you’re not in a relationship.
Finding a satisfying and loving relationship requires recognizing self-sabotaging behaviors. And introducing positive changes to your thinking processes. All of which a relationship counselor is specially trained to help you with.
What Is Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues?
Relationship therapy is an umbrella term used to describe any type of therapy with the goal of enhancing a person or persons’ relationship satisfaction.
Individual therapy for relationship issues more specifically describes the therapeutic process used to allow you to take a stronger control over the satisfaction you find in your relationships. Whether you have a romantic partner or not.
Relationship therapy for individuals is for just that: individuals! No matter what layer you are in your relationship atmosphere, you can potentially benefit from relationship therapy.
Any person who finds that they are unsatisfied in their romantic life will gain a better understanding of themselves, their relationships, and the dating world around them.
Our experts recognize that relationship dissatisfaction can look like many situations, including:
- Having difficulty finding and sustaining passion in relationship
- Having difficulty with anxieties and stresses in relationships
- Having difficulties with confidence and self-esteem in approach
The Psychology Behind Relationship Therapy
But how does relationship therapy actually take advice that seems common sense, like loving yourself and building self-acceptance, and apply psychological principles to catalyze positive change?
Without going in depth into the psychological underpinnings of relationship counseling for individuals, this section will briefly explain the workings of relationship counseling.
How Does Self-Preservation Exaggerate Our Fear and Threat Detection?
First, let’s talk about self-preservation.
Self-preservation is the way in which fear exaggerates our threat detection, powered by a biological need to feel safe.
Because of this, our threshold for threats becomes dramatically lowered, which means that even the slightest possibility of a threat could be interpreted as a life-threatening attack on our safety.
How does this apply to relationship therapy?
When we notice even the slightest fear or insecurity in our relationship, we become highly alerted to negative emotions. And naturally, we will tend to focus primarily on that negativity. Fear, motivated through self-preservation, narrows our perception of our partners in a particularly negative light.
In a nutshell, when we feel scared or insecure, we tend to only see the negative in our partners.
How Self-Preservation Can Create a Negative Cycle with Others and Yourself
Similarly, when we sense insecurity in ourselves, we will narrow our perception of ourselves to be negative. This negativity leads to a further negativity narrowing of our perception, which leads us feeling more insecure about ourselves.
This never-ending cycle is known as the negative cycle. A damaging and potentially relationship-threatening cycle.
During individual sessions of relationship counseling, your therapist will work intimately with you to recognize, explore, and resolve unhelpful and counterproductive behaviors.
These behaviors feed into the negative cycle that is damaging your relationship with potential romantic interests, and with yourself. So it’s in the best interest of yourself and your relationship counselor to develop healthy coping strategies to an approaching negative cycle.
How Is Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues Different From Dating Coaches?
The difference between a licensed therapist specialized in relationship therapy and a dating coach is significant enough for us to recommend that you take time to understand the two. Before hiring a therapist or dating coach, you should ask each of them if they have experience with what you are dealing with.
Even experience can be cloudy. Therapists often have more experience dealing with and helping their clients overcome obstacles in their relationship dissatisfactions. Dating coaches often have more experience in the dating world themselves.
It is important to note that while dating coaches might have more experience in the dating world, having experience relatability does not mean diagnosing the hows and whys of a client’s self-sabotaging behaviors. And those behaviors are the source of most relationship dissatisfactions.
Our Goals Are Your Goals: Positive Change for Relationship Happiness
A dating coach will say about a relationship therapist:
“If you’re looking to get a girl/boyfriend in 90 days, they might not be the best bet.”
Truth be told, that is correct. The goal of a relationship therapist is not to get you a romantic partner.
Rather, it is to:
- allow for personal growth,
- heal past traumas that may be the source of self-sabotaging behaviors,
- and boost self-confidence, self-acceptance, and relationship satisfaction.
If you think that you would benefit from a consultation with Deep Connections Counseling’s NC & VA therapists, trained in relationship expertise, schedule an appointment now. Call (757) 704-5558 or talk to us by emailing hello@deepconnectionscounseling.com.
Best of luck!