Are you and your partner going through disagreements about having children? Or are you avoiding that talk altogether? Learn 4 common reasons that can lead people to not have children.
Not all couples want to have children. In fact, there’s a growing share of adults in the U.S. who say that it is unlikely for them to have children.
It is not uncommon for this problem to become larger the longer couples are together. Still, some believe that the partner who doesn’t want children will either grow out of it or will eventually be convinced.
It can be difficult to speak about the issues that lead to disagreements about having children. However, avoiding this question can put more strain on the relationship and compromise the chance for a future together.
4 Common Reasons For Disagreements On Having Children
1. Change Or Loss Of Lifestyle
Having a child is a large time commitment. If a person has a lifestyle made up of things like trips or going out with friends, it is possible they do not want the time commitment of a child.
This is one of the reasons that can change over time more often than others but can cause someone to not enjoy parenthood due to lifestyle changes.
2. Trust In Their Partner
Individuals who have low trust in the relationship or have broken each other’s trust may not want to have children with that person.
On the other side, the person may not trust that their other half will be helpful and caring with the child, thus the main responsibility will fall on them.
3. Fertility Issues
Sometimes it isn’t as much of a choice that the individual doesn’t want to have a child. If there are fertility issues, it is often disheartening to try to have a child and not be able to succeed due to low fertility.
This can create an upsetting tradeoff as it can be mentally exhausting attempting to conceive a child and not being able to.
4. Financial Strain
One of the largest issues is financial strain. While children do take up a lot of time, they are costly as well. This can become an issue in any home as money is one of the main problems in many relationships.
If one partner feels financially unstable, it is likely they will want to hold off or not have children until they feel more secure about their finances.
Couples Counseling for Disagreements on Having Children in NC & VA
Have you been avoiding a conversation about having children? Do you fear for the future of your relationship?
While these conversations can be difficult, it can be worse to keep delaying the problem. Couples counseling is a great option for having a mediated conversation about sensitive topics, so couples can work through their issues together.
Consider scheduling a couples counseling appointment with our therapists Kinga Gudor or Carol Snow. Find more information on couples counseling in NC & VA here.
Paige Ruano, MSW Intern
Paige is a Master's Social Work student at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU). She specializes in relationship issues, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and peer relationships.
