Multicultural Counseling

Counseling for Multicultural, Cross-Cultural Couples and Individuals

Perhaps you’ve always dreamed of coming to the US, the land of the free. Or perhaps your departure from your home country was purely coincidental, unpremeditated. Either way, you were excited by the promise of a blissful haven, a chance to start anew.

You’ve seen the heroic movies, the captivating TV shows, you fell in love with the idea of the American dream, and you wanted to have your go at it. You left everything you’ve ever known, friends, family, a career, all the places you’ve grown familiar with, all the people you’ve become attached to.

You were determined to give a better future to your children, to raise them in a propitious environment. You wanted to give them a chance to build a better life. You wanted to give yourself a chance to build a better life! And so with a heavy heart, you said your goodbyes and embarked on this once in a lifetime journey.

Culture Shock

The excitement overcame the sadness and melancholia and you knew, deep inside, that this was the best decision to make… That is until you landed. The first few weeks were bound to be challenging. A different language, a different atmosphere, a different culture, different places, and different people.

Perhaps it was a small encounter with a stranger, browsing through the aisles of a grocery store, or maybe it was a disagreement with your partner, and then everything came crashing down, all of your hopes and dreams…

You felt like an outsider still, as days, weeks, months go by. You tried your best to belong. You wanted to be accepted into this new community. You wanted to fit in. But it kept getting harder and harder as your longing for that comforting sense of familiarity grew.

You tried to make this your home but doubt began to creep in and you’re wondering if you made the right decision after all. Yet you cannot bring yourself to be branded a loser, to go home and tell everyone how you failed to survive.

Neither Here nor There

You know they wouldn’t understand. You know they will reprimand you for wasting the opportunity of a lifetime. So you give yourself a pep talk, one of many since you came here, you try and remind yourself of all the reasons why you made this terrifying -yet to be fulfilling choice. Better education, better future, better economy, better jobs, better life…

You want to prove yourself now, prove that you’re worthy, that you’re adaptable, that you can be confident, powerful, successful, and happy, just like your American peers. You refuse to let your voice get lost when making conversation, you refuse to be defeated.

You decide to be better than all the people you met since you got here because you don’t have any other choice. But the truth is, as a child, you didn’t learn how to voice your thoughts and express your opinions unapologetically. You weren’t taught to speak your mind and sell your qualities.

You feel a sense of desolation because you have to work extra hard to do something that comes naturally to most people you’ve met since your arrival. Then there’s the disconnect you feel with your partner. You assume they would read between the lines, that they will understand your subtext, that some things, while left unsaid, should be easy to figure out from the context.

Cross-cultural Couple Discrepancies

You think your partner will pick up on your non-verbal cues, or that they would try to make you feel more included. But your worries and frustrations get lost in translation. You try to be more tolerant and flexible with new ways of doing things and you want to be more open-minded, yet sometimes the smallest things can feel the most challenging. Coming from a different set of values and being confronted with an entirely different rule book brings with it a whole new array of barriers (cultural, linguistic, social, ethnic…). You want to establish that connection with your partner, that affinity, perhaps even a new frame of reference, but sometimes you can’t help but feel lonely and isolated, invisible even.

You don’t feel like fighting for yourself both in the outside world and within your own home. You wish things were different, that you didn’t have to prove yourself to each and every person you meet. Finding a job was hard enough, but having to continuously make valiant efforts to be noticed is taking a toll on your mental and physical health.

You never say no to anybody, you never complain, you never dare defy others, you don’t even expect a show of appreciation or gratitude anymore, you tell yourself ‘I just need to keep my head down and get by’. But it’s proving to be harder and harder and you’re not so sure you can continue living like this any longer.

Relationship Counseling
for Multiracial Couples and Individuals

At Deep Connections Counseling, we know what it’s like to feel like an outsider, to feel like you don’t belong, neither here nor in your home country. We’re aware of your struggle, of the efforts you’ve been making since the moment you got here, of all the energy and time you spent trying to please everyone around you.

We realize how taxing that must have been and we realize how lonely you may be feeling. We offer relationship counseling for cross-cultural couples and individuals so you never have to let your fears, worries, and frustrations get lost in translation.

We want to help you assert your needs and we want to be there for you to communicate your desires. We strive to create a safe space for you to be able to express your thoughts and opinions, freely and without any judgment.

We seek to explore the challenges you’re facing and the obstacles you wish to overcome so that together, we can help you develop an understanding, compassionate, and honest relationship with your partner. We will wholeheartedly address the issues you have with a targeted results-driven approach and find solutions that will propel you from where you are to where you want to be.

Our counseling services include multinational individuals and families who need help with cultural acclimation, including expatriate professionals from around the world.

Our therapists at DCC can help you to:

  • Embrace your cultural differences and learn communication skills to decrease conflict and improve connections and intimacy with your partner.
  • Cope with the stress of immigration and adjusting to your new environment.
  • Cope with the loss of the familiar because of immigration and recreating a new identity. by embracing the differences between the two worlds.
  • Gain life skills in the new environment when transitioning from another country.
  • Gain a better balance between your work, career, and parenting.
  • Heal traumatic experiences of immigration through the power of relationships.
  • Cope with the stages of grieving the loss of the familiar following immigration.

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Deep Connections Counseling

Call or Text: (757) 704-5558
hello@deepconnectionscounseling.com

Serving Virginia and North Carolina