Questioning your gender can be a normal part of growing up. It is an important part of identity exploration, though it can feel scary and uncomfortable. Whether you explore your gender identity and decide the gender you were assigned at birth feels most comfortable or find out that a different part of the gender spectrum feels most fitting, these tips can help you during the exploration process.
Tips for Questioning and Exploring Gender:
- Give yourself time and grace: there is no timeline for finding your gender identity. You can change how you identify, no matter what stage of life you are in. If you are struggling with questioning your gender, explore those feelings at your own pace and when you feel most comfortable. It is also okay to try on different labels (even just within your own mind) to see how they fit before finding one that feels comfortable to you. Give yourself time and patience, especially if these feelings are confusing or uncomfortable.
- Reflect in a safe space: find a safe space to reflect on and explore your identity, even if this means just to yourself. A good way to start is by asking yourself how you would like to identify and be perceived if the judgment, stigma, and the opinions of others were not involved. You can also research different identities or follow queer creators who talk about gender.
- Explore gender expression: if you feel safe doing so, playing with gender expression can help you on your exploration journey. Trying different ways of dressing, hairstyles (or cuts), makeup, and other expressions of identity can be a good way to explore how you feel most comfortable expressing gender.
- Talk to safe people: sharing your feelings about questioning your gender with a trusted friend or family member (if you feel safe doing so) can be helpful if you are struggling with your gender identity. You can also talk queer individuals about their experiences with gender if possible.
- Find an affirming therapy: having a nonjudgemental, affirming counselor to explore gender identity with can help if questioning your gender or feelings or gender dysphoria are disrupting your life.
How Can I Help?
As a counseling intern and queer person myself, I can help you explore your identity or find the next steps in affirming a new identity in a safe, confidential, and nonjudgemental space. You can also check out the flyer below for information on our trans and gender-nonconforming support group.
Peyton Davis
Peyton is a counseling intern accepting new clients in Virginia. Peyton has experience in dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, low self-esteem, and LGBTQ+ concerns.
