Do you want to improve your relationships? Do you seek to heal from past wounds and understand unhealthy patterns from past relationships? Find out how relationship counseling for singles can help you build stronger connections and set up healthier habits.
When it comes to finding and sustaining healthy relationships, most of us are wishful thinkers. We see the happiest of our friends’ relationships and think, “If only I had X.” Or “If I wasn’t Y, then I would be in the fulfilling relationship of my dreams.”But what many of us may fail to recognize is that we are all capable of finding and sustaining a satisfying romantic relationship. And only one person is stopping us: ourselves.
For some, social anxiety keeps us from connecting with others around us. For others, self-criticism is what gets in our way. But what relationship psychologists and therapists tell us is that these sorts of roadblocks mostly stem from the same issues, rooted back in our childhood.
In this post, we’ll discuss how sessions of individual relationship therapy help you tackle these issues by reinventing the way you see yourself and your relationships.
How Can Relationship Counseling Help You?
The ultimate goal of relationship counseling for singles is to create a safe and progressive environment in which you boost your confidence and self-esteem, cultivate self-love and self-acceptance, and let go of unhealthy behavior patterns.
During individual sessions of relationship therapy, your counselor will work intimately with you to pinpoint thoughts and emotions that manifest in your struggle with relationships. Your counselor’s primary philosophy depends on establishing trust and confidentiality with you.
It is then that you may be able to fully express yourself, rooting out toxic feelings of self-doubt and self-criticism plaguing your mind. These feelings most often serve only to overwhelm your psyche and prevent you from creating any real positive change with your relationships.
Letting go of this brain clutter is like taking off two 20-pound ankle weights that you never knew you had on. Except, in this case, the weights were anchored onto your relationships and self-confidence.
- Social anxiety
- Self-esteem and confidence deficiencies
- Insecure attachment styles
- General relationship dissatisfaction
- Feeling overwhelmed
These “weights” actively work to stifle any attempt to remove them. This is why we rarely see clients with just one of those manifestations listed above.
Different Sources of Relationship Dissatisfaction
Before attending relationship therapy, ask yourself this question: what is your main concern when it comes to relationship dissatisfaction?
If your main concern is in finding healthy relationships, individual relationship counseling is a highly effective tool to target possible underlying causes of self-doubt and social anxiety.
Maybe your main concern is in sustaining healthy relationships. Here, too, individual relationship counseling is a highly effective tool. It can help you to target potential underlying causes of self-criticism and relationship unsustainability.
How does the same therapeutic mechanism work to treat relationship issues on both sides of the spectrum?
Difficulty in Establishing Relationships
Each individual can be vastly different in his or her upbringing, character, and manner. You might relate closer to individual X, someone in whom self-doubt and a lack of confidence produce fears and social anxieties in meeting or connecting with new people.
There is difficulty in finding relationships. Connecting with people who match your personality and character brings on great anxiety. Maybe living a life without a significant other is a real fear that pervades your life.
Individual relationship counseling helps to remove self-committed boundaries that work against you to hinder your ability to connect with others. Individual relationship counseling allows you to explore strategies to help you:
- Build confidence
- Understand who/what you are looking for
- Uncover negative self-preservation habits that are stifling your growth potential
Difficulty in Maintaining Satisfaction within Relationships
On the other hand, if your main concern about relationships is a recent string of failed relationships that left you unsatisfied, individual relationship counseling works in the same manner to regain control over your romances.
You more closely relate to individual Y, someone who has those same negative feelings, but finds no difficulty in finding relationships. Rather, when you find yourself in a relationship, you tend to disconnect with your inner self, forgetting your own needs and putting the needs of others ahead of your own. You might often find yourself putting more work into relationships than your partner(s).
You might take some time for yourself and realize that you have lost the love and respect for yourself that you once had. Your relationships tend to end in unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Counseling provides you the opportunity to take an objective look into your dating history.
- Types of partners do you find yourself attracted to
- Whether or not that type of person is good for you and your character
- Reasons why you are inclined to go for that type of partner
- How your past affects your partner-choosing process
- How your thoughts and actions contribute to these negative patterns
The Benefits of Relationship Counseling for Singles
First, the counselor will work with you to identify points of self-doubt and self-criticism that may be plaguing your mind. From a newfound point of uncluttered thinking, your counselor will then work with you as a team to let go of the psychological weights pinning your psyche to the wall.
By speaking with you, a good relationship counselor knows how to identify the sources and causes of your relationship dissatisfactions.
It does not matter whether you more closely relate to individual X or Y. Relationship counseling for singles provides you the setting in which you can watch your confidence skyrocket and your relationship strategies completely expand through well-studied psychological principles.
Through applying these principles in therapy and counseling, you can expect to:
- Accept that mistakes you make don’t take away from your worth or the fact that you deserve love
- Acknowledge how your past experiences shape your perception of yourself and how you fit into your relationships
- Learn to better understand and express your needs
- Recognize that feeling vulnerable is normal and a fertile ground for a healthy relationship
- Reflect on uncomfortable feelings to seek to understand them rather than running away from them
- Strengthen your communication skills
- Understand what triggers certain emotions
Beginning Relationship Counseling for Singles
If you are still wondering if individual relationship counseling is for you, asking yourself this question may help you make that decision for your relationship health: if not now, then when? If not healing through therapy, then how?
No matter your race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender identity, we at Deep Connections Counseling are here to offer you the guidance and support you need. You can be rest assured that the nurturing of your self-understanding and your self-confidence by our counselors will help you develop a trust in your relationship abilities, capabilities, and judgement.
Our counselors have tremendous involvement with and understanding of people from all types of minority and majority backgrounds, including ex-pats, military service members, immigrants, and individuals in the LGBTI+ community. They will help you explore your emotional foundation and history, build your confidence, improve your communication skills, and boost your resilience.
Don’t try to find a meaningful and fulfilling relationship using the same methods that haven’t worked in the past. This only leads to frustration.
Talk to us to learn more about the journey of self-acceptance and profound relationships that you can be empowered to find today.
Isn’t it time that you rebuild satisfaction in your relationship life again? Try a free 15-minute appointment to find the right match for you.
Kinga Gudor, PhD
Kinga is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with more than 15 years of experience. She specializes in couples therapy and working with individuals from a multicultural background.
