Did you just get engaged?
Are you feeling overwhelmed with wedding planning?
Are you worried about how such a dramatic transition can affect your relationship?
Are there some unresolved arguments you’re too anxious to bring to the surface?
Do you feel concerned about the new roles and responsibilities you have to assume?
When marriage is on the horizon, partners will often notice a reawakening of old tensions and an upsurge of new problems that need to be discussed before embarking on the journey of married life. You and your partner might be worried about what this development entails. You might also be troubled by this tension or resurgence of old problems.
Perhaps you fear that this apprehension shows how incompatible you are on a deeper level. The concerns and doubts you’re going through are completely normal. Far from it, the very fact that you have gotten this far is proof of how you and your partner complement each other. Facing the fears provoked by taking the step towards a more profound commitment can help you work out your differences and set yourselves up for a successful marriage.
What Is Premarital Counseling & How Can It Help You?
Premarital counseling is a form of counseling that generally takes place prior to tying the knot. Through enlisting the help of a therapist, they can help you navigate and overcome recurrent arguments to learn how to better support one another. Premarital counseling allows you to gain deeper insight into yourself as well as your partner. It’s an opportunity for you and your partner to develop more empathy, compassion, and resilience so you can find mutual solutions that serve both your needs. Through counseling, you can take the time to fully prepare for the wonderful adventure you’re about to share.
The main objective here is to provide you and your partner with the opportunity to discuss all that needs to be discussed, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable of a topic it is. This, in turn, will help you build the skills and acquire the tools you need to create a solid foundation for your married life. This is especially important for cross-cultural or military couples because of the unique challenges each of these situations poses.
Premarital counseling gives you a chance to address issues like frequent moves, deployments, different views of marriage and what it entails, contrasting perceptions of religion, language as a barrier, relationships with family members, as well as life expectations stemming from cultural differences. Tackling these issues early on will prevent them from becoming pervasive in your relationship. The longer you put off these decisive conversations, the more these common problems escalate, and the harder it will be to remedy them. Moreover, seeking premarital counseling can help you as a couple to cultivate a positive attitude about getting help with your relationship further down the line. There is, without a doubt, so much to gain from this process.
What to Expect From Premarital Counselling
When seeking premarital counseling, you can expect to explore fundamental issues that constitute an inherent aspect of marriage, namely coping with religious differences for cross-cultural couples, examining different ways of dealing with conflict, determining your and your partner’s love languages, sorting out your compatibility, delving into your common or contrasting values and beliefs, understanding your communication styles, coping with lifestyle disagreements, as well as exploring each other’s family backgrounds, goals, expectations, and even deal-breakers.
A counselor can help you and your partner start this journey on a strong foot, providing you with a better chance for a healthy, stable, and fulfilling marriage. You can also expect to identify both your strengths and weaknesses to avoid your differences of perspective from clashing and leading to serious marital issues in the future.
If you can set apart some time for counseling prior to setting a date for your wedding, you can benefit from the guidance and insights premarital counseling can offer. You can expect some homework to discuss during each session, for instance, tasks in the form of questions and answers that require introspection into who you are as individuals, and self-inquiry to determine what you and your partner bring to the marriage.
You will discover each others’ strengths, weaknesses, standards, and expectations. You will also get together with your counselor to analyze your discoveries and reflections, and figure out together what steps you and your partner need to take to make a successful transition from separate individuals to a married couple. Opening up to one another in a safe and candid environment can help you be more prepared for growth to create a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.
The Benefits of Premarital Counseling
- A deeper understanding of one another’s thoughts, feelings, and needs
- A more profound and affectionate sense of intimacy
- Enhanced sense of safety -both physical and emotional
- Faith in your partner’s ability to make sure you feel heard and seen
- Insight into the underlying issues of recurring arguments and tensions
- Newfound confidence in your ability to surmount conflict and challenges
- The joy and pride of creating a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilling marriage
- Trust in yourself to clearly convey your emotions, desires, and needs
How Deep Connections Counseling Can Assist You
Many couples are apprehensive to bring their problems out in the open because they’re concerned that this could result in even greater issues and potentially even end their relationship. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Although this process seems scary at first, addressing sources of conflict early on in a safe and structured space gives you and your partner the chance to work out any negative feelings you may have before these snowball into much bigger issues.
Our therapists at Deep Connections Counseling recognize the importance of premarital couples’ counseling. They can help you lay the groundwork for a strong, stable, and fulfilling marriage. So set apart a few months before your wedding and invest your time in preventative care to strengthen the bond you share with your partner. Take the next step today and schedule a preliminary consultation. Contact our proficient counselors if you are ready to seek premarital counseling.