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How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship: 3 Steps From Our Couples Therapist

Photo of an LGBTQ+ couple hugging each other with a loving and calm expression. This represents how couples therapy can help rebuild trust in a relationship after a betrayal or infidelity.

Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship after a betrayal? Yes, but it depends on the willingness and commitment both partners need to make to overcome the pain and work on the relationship. Find out 3 ways to rebuild trust in a relationship and regain intimacy.

Trust is an essential element of any healthy relationship, but it doesn’t stand on its own. It takes time, patience, and constant effort.

When someone breaks your trust, it can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and even physically sick. You may begin to question your partner’s motives and actions. You may even consider your relationship’s future. So, how can you rebuild trust in a relationship?

Feeling trust in a relationship means you can rely on your partner, be open and vulnerable, and have confidence they will not harm you or cause you pain.

To rebuild trust in a relationship, you need to be willing to let go of your resentment and work to overcome the betrayal with your partner. This process calls for the commitment of both partners to reestablish the safety needed for the relationship to continue to grow.

Why Is Trust So Important in a Relationship?

Before going over how to rebuild trust in a relationship, it’s essential to understand why trust plays such a big role.

To start, trust promotes positivity and reduces conflicts within a relationship. Trust allows partners to be more open and giving with one another, which means they are also more likely to understand and forgive each other’s shortcomings.

At the same time, it also increases closeness, because relationships are built on a strong bond and foundation. When trust is present, you feel safe and supported, knowing that your partner has your back.

On the other hand, lack of trust can negatively affect your relationship and your well-being, leading to distress, insecurity, fear, isolation, and even anxiety and depression. As you drift apart from your partner, rebuilding trust in the relationship becomes a crucial step to recovering intimacy.

Common Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

There are several reasons that might lead you to lose trust in your partner beyond infidelity or an affair.

This may involve secrets, lies, broken promises, and even small misunderstandings. Some common signs of trust issues in a romantic relationship include:

  • You spend most of the time suspicious of your partner’s honesty, motives, intentions, feelings, and actions;
  • You feel jealousy, insecurity, and resentment when your partner interacts with others;
  • You accuse your partner of being unfaithful or hiding things from you;
  • You constantly monitor and try to control your partner’s actions or decisions.
  • You feel emotionally disconnected or distant from your partner;
  • You have difficulty communicating honestly and being open with your partner.

If you relate to any of these signs, know that it doesn’t have to mean the end! It’s possible to rebuild trust in a relationship even after a devastating betrayal. In fact, it can serve as a wake-up call for reviving a relationship that was in distress long before.

Healing is a journey, but when two people are deeply committed to understanding and recommitting, positive changes can unfold. So, here are some good starting points to help you rebuild trust in your relationship.

3 Tips for Couples to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

1. Take responsibility for mistakes made

Rebuilding trust requires both partners to take responsibility for their actions and their role in the breakdown of trust. This may involve acknowledging past mistakes, apologizing sincerely, and committing to making positive changes moving forward.

Also, take time to explore the motives behind the lie or betrayal. This will give both parties a broader understanding of the situation. It’s also an important step in understanding each other’s perspectives while addressing the issues within the relationship.

2. Make a commitment to each other

Once trust is broken, it can be hard to recover. It requires patience, commitment, and time. Both partners must commit 100% to the healing process after a betrayal. It is a long-term investment and not something you can rush or fast-forward to. However, if both feel that the relationship is worth fighting for it is possible to move forward together.

During this process, it’s more than natural to go through setbacks and moments of doubt. It’s important to remember that trust is rebuilt gradually, through consistent actions and positive changes over time.

3. Seek help to strengthen the relationship

The path to restoring trust comes largely down to a choice between seeking revenge or working on the relationship.

Seeking the guidance of a couples therapist can be invaluable in the process of rebuilding trust. A skilled therapist can provide a neutral and safe space for both partners to explore their feelings, identify underlying issues, and develop effective strategies for rebuilding trust.

Couples counseling can also offer specialized tools and exercises tailored to the unique needs of each couple. They can help couples develop better communication skills, manage conflicts, and build emotional intimacy.

At Deep Connections Counseling, we offer a free 15-minute consultation with our expert couples therapist Dr. Kinga Gudor. This way, you and your partner can decide together if it is the right fit for you. Schedule your first appointment here!

Kinga Gudor, PhD

Kinga Gudor, PhD

Kinga is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with more than 15 years of experience. She specializes in couples therapy and working with individuals from a multicultural background.

Learn more about Kinga
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